Agnes, the head of the filing department at “Slightly Askew Accounting,” was known for two things: her unwavering dedication to alphabetical order and her absolute terror of water. So, when the annual office retreat was announced – held at a lakeside resort – everyone held their breath.
“Team building!” boomed Mr. Abernathy, the boss, his voice echoing through the open-plan office. “Think canoes, think campfires, think… bonding!”
Agnes paled. Bonding was one thing; potentially drowning was quite another.
The retreat arrived. Agnes, clad in a life vest even during the campfire singalong, nervously observed the others. Brad from marketing was attempting to waterski (and failing spectacularly), while Brenda from payroll was inexplicably juggling coconuts.
Then, Mr. Abernathy announced the “Clerical Skinny Dip!”
Agnes gasped. “Surely not… Mr. Abernathy, that’s highly inappropriate!”
He chuckled, patting her on the shoulder. “Relax, Agnes! It’s not what you think. ‘Clerical Skinny Dip’ is a game I invented! We all write down a particularly embarrassing office blunder on a slip of paper, then ‘dip’ it in the lake. Then we retrieve one at random and guess who committed the error!”
Agnes sighed in relief, though she still thought it was a bizarre exercise. Everyone wrote down their confessions. Papers were “dipped,” and Mr. Abernathy retrieved the first one.
He read aloud, “Accidentally replaced the coffee with decaffeinated instant gravy crystals.”
Silence. Everyone looked around, trying to guess the culprit.
Agnes, however, was staring wide-eyed at her dripping slip of paper. In her panic to avoid any actual swimming, she’d accidentally written down the real reason she’d been avoiding the water all weekend. It read: “I can’t swim!”
